To have a good job, Have a good boss

In the past year, I've gone through a true career revolution. I left a job at a large law firm for a job in the public sector. It was a choice for happiness, and it has turned out well. But I have learned a lot along the way. The biggest, surprising discovery has been my discovery of what makes a job a good job. And the fact that one's supervisor is probably one of the top three things that impact whether a job is "good."

When I began working, I read everything I could about workplace satisfaction. I am the type of person who cares more about being happy than anything else in the world, because without happiness everything is incomplete. So I spent the first three years of my life believing that good co-workers and satisfying work were the most important factors, and the reason that I was unhappy with my work situation was that I was unhappy personally. Then I fell in love and moved into the perfect situation. But I still wasn't happy.

My career as a lawyer in the public sector has caused me to add another factor to the list of what makes a job a good job. I have learned, albeit the hard way, that your boss is the third factor that makes or breaks your work environment.

For the first time in my adult professional life, I have had a boss I admire and enjoy. She is a lawyer with wonderful management skills, wonderful people skills, and is a genuinely likable person. She also left the position about a month ago. Since then, the morale of the organization has taken a notable dive. One person truly does make a difference, particularly when that person is in a position of power.

Management truly does make or break a work environment. My current position is very busy and demanding, but I honestly didn't notice that with my former boss. She literally made work fun. A good supervisor literally makes or breaks an environment.

I wonder, for the supervisors out there, do they realize how much they impact their subordinates work experience. A good job truly is a trifecta of an experience, with co-workers you enjoy, work that is satisfying, and a supervisor who makes the experience better, and not worse.

Every Journey Worth Taking Has Bumps and Bruises

One of my favorite actors is Jason Statham. Until two weeks ago, I hadn't seen him in a movie I couldn't enjoy. Right now, I am watching one of the worst movies I have ever seen, and he is one of the lead characters. I was sucked into the movie by his name in the list of actors. I think that the movie producers knew I would be. So of course he is listed as the title character.

Evidently, every actor picks a few duds. If someone who has a team of people around them helping them to find the best vehicle for their art makes a mistake or two, what can be expected from the average worker bee like you and me?

Obviously, you and I will make tactical and practical errors in our professional decisions. What distinguishes a great actor from a forgotten actor is what he or she does after the mistake is made. Here are a few things I have picked up from the actors whose work I enjoy.

1. When you make a career mis-step, return to what you know works. This is why an actor, when he or she makes a movie that is a total dud, will sign up for a blockbuster sequel, or return to work with a director who they know does good work, even if it is with a pay cut. The application for an average worker is to return to what you know you do well, and do it even better. If you are an action star, and you tried your hand at drama or a period piece with a disastrous effect, go make an amazing action movie to remind your fan base of how amazing you really are at what you do.

2. Don't get discouraged because you aren't perfect. Everyone will make a mis-step in his or her career. Everyone will make a mistake. It's part of being human. If you don't make a mistake you aren't taking risks, and if you aren't taking risks you aren't growing in your career. And if you aren't growing, you aren't really good at anything yet!

3. Don't be afraid to try something new again. Fear stops progress and growth. Fear immobilizes. Fear prevents you from reaching your potential. You can't stop growing as a professional just because you face a few bumps and bruises in your professional career. Every actor makes at least one bad movie early on in his or her career. Many are never heard from again, not just because of luck or lack of talent, but because of fear. I personally am glad that the horrid movie starring Jason Statham didn't stop him from acting again, or cause him to abandon what he is good at. As an avid action movie fan, I would really miss him!

The career bumps and bruises are the stuff of legend, the experiences that make for great stories when a professional reaches their professional goals and swaps stories of triumph and tragedy, and provide guidance to others who are trying to succeed in their professional careers. The negative experiences are necessary, because they help you carve out your niche, learn your strengths and weaknesses, and ultimately become the professional success you are meant to be.

You Aren't As "Anonymous" As You Think, So Manage Your Online Identity Carefully

A new trend in media is reporting stories on how people get fired because of their online persona. Specifically, foolish young (or old?) employees announce loudly on twitter or facebook that they hate their bosses, co-workers, or jobs in general. And internet-savvy bosses respond by showing them the door.

But there are more things to be afraid of when you are active online aside from the astute employer. One of which is watching the negative feedback you give, or information you post, and realizing that you aren't as anonymous as you think.

Last week, a former model sued to obtain the information on a blogger who put out very negative and defamatory information about her online. The former model won. Several news sources produced up in arms pieces about the first amendment and how revealing the identity of a vitriol blogger threatens our fundamental rights. While I believe that there is nothing protecting anonymity in the first amendment, and furthermore if you are man/woman enough to say it, you should be man/woman enough to own up to it, this case should put a chill on anonymous hateful speech. Furthermore, this debate has been going on for much longer, and this outcome, in a day and age where employers google potential employees, was inevitable.

When I was 17 I began using internet forums to find out information, and I still do today. For example, I use Yahoo questions for research (to get a general consensus) or other similar sites. When I was accepted into law school, I was directed by someone I knew who was a law student to visit a forum dedicated to law students that is currently involved in a law suit after two students were attacked on the forum by name. I know of several other students who were also treated very cruelly on this forum. The two students who were named in numerous threads on this forum fought back, filing a law suit, and the identity of at least one of the individuals behind the most malicious comments was to be disclosed to the students.

I read the developing case with interest, especially when the it became apparent that the individuals who had used anonymity to attack these female law students would face some exposure. It became apparent that at least one of the individuals was living a dual life; his or her online identity was completely inconsistent with his or her real-life persona. The individual begged the judge not to reveal his/her identity on the grounds that it would literally ruin this person's life. They spoke of their family (as in mom and dad), and career aspirations. It was an odd juxtapose to the damage that this individuals comments had done to the two women suing to repair their image.

What it all comes down to is this: an individual needs to be as concerned about what he or she says online anonymously as he or she is about what is said openly. While an errant facebook comment may cost you an entry level position, vitriol posted anonymously about an innocent individual could cost you your career and forever limit your potential. Because comments posted anonymously are becoming part of one's online identity, such un-masked comments are part of a growing trend of online infamy.

Work and Religion

For full disclosure, I am a Sabbath keeping Christian. I am very passionate about my religion.

A few days ago, I watched the documentary Jesus Camp. I was worried that it would be critical of religion, and make Christians seem like, well, freaks. But it was a surprisingly interesting take on the situation of politically active Christianity. It showed the church's efforts to train the next generation of members, an attempt to ensure the survival of their brand of Christianity. One of the most difficult things to do for a religion is to ensure that they retain the younger members of their faith. A particularly compelling moment in the movie was when a young girl walked up to a young lady at a bowling alley and told her about Jesus. I was surprised by her courage. And it made me question what I am doing as a Christian to spread what I believe. And what a delicate line there exists on matters of religion at work.

I first thought about the careful lines between work and personal belief during the election. Most of the lawyers hid their political leanings as if they were deep dark secrets. This is true even more for the religious persuasions of the people I work with. I find out about them from people who know them outside of the office. And sometime the revelations are shocking: I could not understand, for example, how a particular coworker was Catholic and their behavior is, well, inconsistent with their religion.

Furthermore, as a Christian I feel the need to share my beliefs. It was easy to do when, as a criminal defense attorney I was asked by inmates to pray with them, or asked how I could be so kind in such a difficult situation. However, things are different in the corporate world. The situation is even trickier if one wants to share their religion. I would not recommend sharing one's religion directly; it can create a hostile work environment for people who do not believe the same things. However, there are subtler ways to share one's beliefs, a way that improves the workplace.

As a Christian, I believe in a few things. One of which is that I am required and mandated to be a kind person. Some people hold the belief that being kind at work is one way to ensure that people will walk over you. But being kind is not being a pushover. Being kind is a different animal entirely. Being kind means you bite your tongue when a cruel word could be spoken (i.e. a critical and unnecessary barb at a difficult coworker). I am also required to turn the other cheek, and to ignore an insult as if it never happened. I had a meeting once where I realized I could have said a lot of true things in defense of an accusation made against me that was, well, unfounded. I did defend my position. But instead of saying what I wanted to say (which was that the person was completely delusional and incompetent), I took the rather rudely given criticism in stride, provided my explanation, and looked for positive ways to integrate the information I was given and make it constructive criticism.

A final mandate that I find particularly important as a Christian in the work place is to be a forgiving person. This isn't an easy thing to be, but it does make you a much better coworker. Not remembering every fault or misdeed done to you is a real asset, especially in an industry that is small, and the power dynamics between people change continually. In the legal industry, a subordinate today might be a desired client tomorrow, or a government attorney in a position to make or break a client's attempts at avoiding a federal investigation. Forgiveness is a very useful trait, that protects relationships and allows someone to be the bigger person in a very meaningful way.

In the Bible, there is a sermon given by Jesus with the mantras that every Christian is encouraged to live by. These are: humility, compassion, mercy, good intentions, and peacefulness. These mantras are very useful in the workplace, make an employee a much more like-able person, and are an easy way to be a good Christian without preaching a sermon. Whatever your personal religious persuasion (or lack thereof), it is important to develop your mantra that shows your faith (or world-view), and use it to make you a better employee, and to make your workplace a better workplace.

What Makes a Job Not So Bad...

Having an enjoyable job (or, if you are like me, a job that isn't so bad) is not just about what you do. After working in different corporate settings, and being as free spirited as I am, I realize that as long as I work with my mind and not my hands, I will define what I do as moving paper (as one person told me, in the "corporate" world, we move paper from one side of our desks to the other).

The secret to enjoying your job is enjoying the personal dynamics that you create. Having friends at work isn't the only thing that matters. Liking the people you work with, or at the very least respecting them and seeing them as competent, is just as important.

A few years ago, a job hunting website ran a commercial to advertise their services. The premise involved a person was working for a room full of monkeys. At the time I thought: how could it ever be that bad. And then I worked for a job where it seemed that everyone was literally flying by the seat of their pants, with no direction, and looking for someone else to blame. It really was like working in a room full of monkeys. I walked away from the situation afraid to work in my current industry, and afraid of working with people who wore suits in general.

Thankfully, that experience hasn't happened again. And currently, after learning when I was a teenager that "work" was just not going to ever be something I enjoy, I have made creating a positive relationship with the people I work with my goal. I am doing the typical things: seeking to create mentoring relationships that meet different goals, like finding someone to provide career advice, provide advice about balancing career and life, and provide advice about the networking aspect of my career. I think I am getting there. But the most important people I have found in the working world are not the people you would generally think would make or break your career, like a supervisor. The people who make work most bearable for me (and this is a lot coming from someone who feels her calling is to be a socialite) are the people who pass me in the hallways. This includes people who are have more experience than me and supervise me in projects. This includes people who work with the same people, and provide advice on how to deal with situations. This includes people who, when I see them, brighten my day. And this includes people I pass in the hallway who take a genuine interest in the lives of others, as I do too, to create a congenial atmosphere.

Have no illusions; no job is perfect no matter who you work for and work with, and I would never say otherwise. However, I have come to believe that the best metric of a good job is not what you actually do. Which is why I believe that you must give a situation time. The true metric is the relationships and competency you see around you, and I can say from experience that it makes a world of difference even within the same industry.

The Career/Family Dilemma

As a single young woman, I feel that my career options are pretty limitless. I am willing to move wherever I need to for my employment. I enjoy moving, and the freedom that comes from being young, single, and free. And I believe that my extreme flexibility helps my career prospects.

However, living the midwest, I am feeling more and more like an anomaly. And I am worrying, looking at the women who are successful around me, that having a family, and having a career, are almost inconsistent.

Furthermore, as I look around, my friends are getting married and starting families. I must admit that I have a small amount of fear, that I will die alone, and unhappy. But I have a greater fear, that I will settle and not meet my full potential.

About a year ago, I had a medical scare. For a moment, I really thought that I would be unable to have children. I had a moment of crisis, because I realized that perhaps the decision to be a mother, and to have my own children, had been taken from me. The "scare" made me really think about the choices I am making, and where I want to be in regards to my personal life. I realized that I have no direction, or motivation, for anything beyond my professional life and my current family and friends. I don't know if this is a good thing. I don't know if, twenty years down the line, I will regret this.

Dating and Networking are Basically the Same Thing

I desperately want to blog about dating. About how dating is like networking, which is essential for any job, and networking makes you better at dating. About my personal experiences. Because you are better at small talk. And making people feel important. And asking the right questions. 

But, I also am afraid to say too much about people that I care about deeply but had not-so-great dating relationships with, to use as my real life examples (as I do with other topics) to illustrate a point. For some reason, people take their faults as daters very seriously. I think that I am immune to this but then again no one is blogging about dating me (that I know of). 

There are so many parallels to dating and networking, it is impossible to become better at one without being better at the other. And it is equally as impossible to become better at both without practice. 

In law school, I discovered that I have social anxiety. I didn't realize it before then, and I have no idea why because I have been doing social things since I was in first grade spelling bee. But I also noticed that dating became infinitely harder. Perhaps it is because there is so much more at stake.  Perhaps I developed some strange mental condition at the age of 21. Or perhaps, I am just human and some things are hard. 

Either way, I am working on it. And I would advise anyone who has bad luck dating to use networking tips, and vis-a-versa. Because the rules, oddly enough, are the same.

I would provide an example, but, of course, I am deathly afraid of offending the people I genuinely care about and love by telling an embarrassing or even just truthful dating story.