A Little Off Topic But...

This is unrelated to my typical "advice", but this is something near and dear to my heart: the great responsibility that Christians have to be responsible with what they preach. 

It was very sad when the media reported that the Pope took a stand, against condoms, in Angola.  If you don't know, many of the Western and Southern countries on the African continent have been ravaged by HIV and AIDS.  One way to control the spread of AIDS is the use of condoms, which are especially helpful for women, who are even more susceptible to contracting AIDS during intercourse. 

As a conservative Christian, I agree with a message of abstinence. It is something I practice in my personal life. But I feel that, as a Christian, I have a duty to the health and safety of others that steps beyond what I believe. For example, I am a vegetarian. I do not believe in eating meat, for health reasons.  I also believe that the original diet, as described in Genesis 2 with the creation of man, did not include meat.  But I would never seek to institute a rule against meat eating, because I understand that most people do not believe the way that I do.  And for many, it would be counter productive. However, not nearly as counterproductive as what was said by the Pope regarding condoms. In a nation where people claim that having sex with virgins will cure you, this is a dangerous message. 

The Knowledge Grid (or the need for growing self-awareness)

Want to know why people can seem to respond to you strangely? Why only certain people date you? What an continual area of improvement should be. 

When I was in college, in my  communications class my first year of college we discussed a knowledge grid.  This grid explains four distinct ways that people know themselves and the world around them. There are four distinct areas of personal knowledge: the things you know about yourself that others know, the things only you know about yourself, the things only others know about you, and the things no one knows.

Perhaps the most important area of knowledge are the things that others know about you.  This is an area you should always be learning about because it impacts you in many ways. This kind of knowledge can give you a heads up at an interview, or make it easier for you to make friends. 

Self-awareness is important because you realize your strengths and weaknesses, and learn to compensate for or capitalize on them. 

So how do you use this knowledge grid to your advantage? How do you find out things about yourself that you don't already know but that other people do? Having friends, real friends, is how one learns those important lessons in self-discovery beyond those supplied by his or her family. 

Will My Generation Succeed when Failure Is an Encouraged Option? (Or Why, While I am employed, I will never move back home)

I moved out of my parent's home when I went to college. Moving back was never an option. Maybe because I greatly value my independence. And mostly because moving back would signal failure. Failure to be an independent adult; to capitalize on the opportunity that my parents gave me. To grow up and be a woman. To exist beyond my mother's apron strings and my father's advice. To be a personal and professional success.

My parents never told me I couldn't come back home. No one ever told me that moving back home means that I have failed. But because I see myself as an adult, and not a child or any longer my parent's responsibility, I can't imagine it being any more of a better idea to move in with my parents as with anyone else. I couldn't expect anyone else to deter me from my journey to self-sufficiency; why would I put this on my parents? Haven't they done enough?

Everyone says go home and figure things out. Everyone says going home saves you money. But I truly feel people who are saying this are being selfish. Perhaps the biggest problem with my generation is selfishness. That we only look at things from our own perspective; that we are foolish enough to believe that because someone cares about us, their perspective does not matter. Moving back home might save you money, but it costs your parents. It prevents them from downsizing. It slows their march to retirement. It prevents them from moving on with their lives. Furthermore, it is a cost that they have probably not planned on absorbing, after all the money they spent helping you become a productive adult by investing in education and other essentials.

Perhaps our parents should be as cruel to us as former generations, purchasing luggage as presents for 18 year olds, letting us know that they do not expect us to intrude on their lives after we are grown, beyond the time they expected to be responsible for another human being.

The Ordinary Dream: Being a Writer

Probably half the people I know want to be writers. It doesn't help that I want to be a writer too; I am sure this skews my perception of just who really wants to be a writer. But nonetheless, being a writer is a terribly common goal. 

And, it doesn't help that it is actually a very difficult thing to do. I can't tell you the number of times I have started writing my great American novel. Or the number of times people have told me about their "nearly finished" (conceptually or otherwise) great American novel. 

There was a time in my life where this was all I thought of. I dreamed about the characters in my book. I imagined my life as a successful writer with the perfect balance of solitary, discipline, and happiness. 

However, I have since come to grips with the fact that I am just not the great American novel writing type, at least not now. Perhaps not ever. I have accepted the limitations of my situation, and my writing ability. I have accepted my humanity. 

Listening to NPR interview two writers, women of color from different countries, it made me feel just a pang of jealousy to hear their struggles with discipline, and then the description of the wonderful feeling of success at a novel's completion. I want to feel like that! But another section of the interview made me take note: the NPR broadcaster asked if the women could see themselves in another profession. The first writer said she was virtually unemployable in any other field. Being a good writer, or perhaps a truly good anything, means being so dedicated to your craft, so specialized in your abilities, that you are fit for pretty much one vocation. As a girl who likes choices, I understand why I could not take the financially indefensible plunge of becoming a writer. I am suited for other professions, and I want to be. But hopefully, one day, I will be so in love and fulfilled by what I do, that I can't imagine myself doing anything else, and I will take that virtually indefensible stance of making myself very good in the field I love.