Silver Spoons and Success

I have a controversial new idea: monumental and outstanding, meaningful and purpose driven success only comes with adversity. I am talking about the kind of success that sets a generation apart and pushes the boundaries on what people think is possible. While many silver spoons might achieve success, it is nothing like the amazing success of the less-silver spooned. At least to me.

I heard a story from a good friend a few years ago about a date at an upscale restaurant in Boston with a guy who came from a wealthy and illustrious family. He of course paid for car service, and everything else. During the date, he proceeded to tell her all the amazing things about him. Which were mostly just amazing things about his family. He went to a great prep school. He went to a decently good college. But now he was doing nothing, NOTHING with his life just waiting for, as he put it, his "inevitable greatness." I don't know if it has come yet, but I imagine it will. Money will do that for you. Just ask Paris. The Hilton. 

He had that luxury, but for those of us who didn't, who raced out of highschool as fast as they could, who flew through college (who says you can't get two majors and a minor in 3.5 years?) and then went straight to work or to grad or professional school (and a good one at that!), we do so because inevitable greatness is just not on the agenda.  I can't wait for anything because my inevitable greatness will never come. I grew up with little in a very strange family (it would take wayyyy too long to explain) and for some odd reason no one felt that dedicated little me would even finish college. Now, seven years later, I laugh at them. In reality I had no choice. If I didn't finish, and then go on and get a professional degree, I would never be able to afford to survive. At least not the way I wanted to. I never wanted to count coins for groceries again. And not that my childhood was bad as I was a very happy child and given many amazing opportunities but money would certainly have helped. 

Now I don't know if I can ever be as great as the individual born with a silver gilded gold and platinum spoon, like the children of presidents or billionaires, but I do know that what I can achieve will be monumental compared to where I came from. And isn't the goal of success to improve? Real success needs improvement, because without it your success can't be measured. And if your father is president, imagine what you have to do to improve. Unless you are a Bush (or should I say George Bush), you will never improve on your parent's legacy. And I am all about improvement. So maybe I am even more fortunate, because if someone is born like me, the only way you can go (practically) is up. 

Employment Law Tip No. 1: Communication Really Is Important

Another tid bit about me: I'm an employment lawyer. I really enjoy being a labor and employment lawyer, because I feel like I can help people. I like nothing more in the world than helping people. Makes you feel good! But I one hit or miss part of my job is reading the (sometimes sad) facts about employment situations gone bad. 

The number one reason that situations go bad: bad communication. An job is like a marriage, you gotta communicate for it to work. I guess the biggest area that I see this in is with FLMA issues like taking leave, where an employee is too embarrassed to admit they need help, and an employer is to embarrassed to say something. Then, after an employee has exhausted their sick leave and borders on being fired, they walk in with a note from a doctor saying they suffer from depression. The employer is left wondering what is real. And seeing their employee in a new, negative, and skeptical light, wishing to pull the plug on what was a positive relationship. This situation costs both sides, for the employee they miss out on opportunities and support for getting better, for the employer they lose a member of the workforce. It is expensive to hire and train new people, even for McDonalds, all the more for a technical or highly specified position. And for the employee, health care isn't cheap. There is a middle ground, especially with large employers, but most employees don't know this because, well they don't talk about it. 

Drug use is another touchy topic that people don't want to talk about in the workplace, but is so important. Lots of Americans use drugs. Most Americans try drugs. Many large employers provide assistance to employees struggling with drug use with the hope of minimal workplace disruption. It makes fiscal sense. And for the employee, it makes sense to access a support system that is free or subsidized and has someone who really wants you there, and ok. In Missouri, an employee is protected to some degree for voluntary admissions of drug problems and for seeking help. But, like paternity leave time, this is a very underused provision. Even in the face of how being tested positive in most if not all work environments will terminate your employment. 

But still use common sense. No one wants to hear about your STD, especially your boss. It can be a sexual harassment policy violation. Hey, I'm a lawyer. Conservative and errs on the side of caution...

And I would also not encourage making lots of complaints about co-workers whatever your protective class.  This advice is really for FMLA and health related issues. Just a disclaimer ;)

Is it me...

So today I went to a new restaurant. I think it is supposed to be a Greek restaurant, but I am not really sure. They did have fantastic hummus though, and I also had a really good falafel. However, my issue was with the service. And maybe, it's me.

First off, I am black. I am an average size, a little on the short side, Black female. With a very cute haircut. But I digress. At any rate, you have no doubt when you meet me of my ethnic northern African heritage. That part of the story, however, isn't that important yet. 

So I go to the restaurant and of course, when I get there, several individuals are in front of me. And three people behind me. I order my food to go (I have a lot of work right now) and as I am waiting I notice something. Everyone is getting their food in front of me. Now I am also vegetarian. How hard is it to make a falafel? I don't think it is that hard. Other people wanted elaborate things. I stood and waited for nearly 2o minutes (to me; probably more like 6 or 7 in reality) and I had to wonder, was it because I am Black?

That is a joke. I got my food, it was great. I am the person who is on their 3rd computer at work, after 3 months. I am the person for whom everything breaks. And I am almost always last to get my food order, even though I am vegetarian, even though I probably ordered a salad. It happens at my favorite restaurant. It happens everywhere. But knowing all this, I had a moment when I wondered if my lovely skin tone had anything to do with it. Am I programmed to think like that? 

Is Blogging Important for Your Career?

Well, I am about to find out. I have been a real flesh and blood lawyer since September 10, and since then I have been lost in the world of corporate speak and this idea of "growing my business". Evidently I am going to be expected to grow a lot in the next couple of years. But how? One of my favorite bloggers, Penelope Trunk at the brazen careerist (gotta google it) says that blogging is essential. I am about to find out.