Every Journey Worth Taking Has Bumps and Bruises

One of my favorite actors is Jason Statham. Until two weeks ago, I hadn't seen him in a movie I couldn't enjoy. Right now, I am watching one of the worst movies I have ever seen, and he is one of the lead characters. I was sucked into the movie by his name in the list of actors. I think that the movie producers knew I would be. So of course he is listed as the title character.

Evidently, every actor picks a few duds. If someone who has a team of people around them helping them to find the best vehicle for their art makes a mistake or two, what can be expected from the average worker bee like you and me?

Obviously, you and I will make tactical and practical errors in our professional decisions. What distinguishes a great actor from a forgotten actor is what he or she does after the mistake is made. Here are a few things I have picked up from the actors whose work I enjoy.

1. When you make a career mis-step, return to what you know works. This is why an actor, when he or she makes a movie that is a total dud, will sign up for a blockbuster sequel, or return to work with a director who they know does good work, even if it is with a pay cut. The application for an average worker is to return to what you know you do well, and do it even better. If you are an action star, and you tried your hand at drama or a period piece with a disastrous effect, go make an amazing action movie to remind your fan base of how amazing you really are at what you do.

2. Don't get discouraged because you aren't perfect. Everyone will make a mis-step in his or her career. Everyone will make a mistake. It's part of being human. If you don't make a mistake you aren't taking risks, and if you aren't taking risks you aren't growing in your career. And if you aren't growing, you aren't really good at anything yet!

3. Don't be afraid to try something new again. Fear stops progress and growth. Fear immobilizes. Fear prevents you from reaching your potential. You can't stop growing as a professional just because you face a few bumps and bruises in your professional career. Every actor makes at least one bad movie early on in his or her career. Many are never heard from again, not just because of luck or lack of talent, but because of fear. I personally am glad that the horrid movie starring Jason Statham didn't stop him from acting again, or cause him to abandon what he is good at. As an avid action movie fan, I would really miss him!

The career bumps and bruises are the stuff of legend, the experiences that make for great stories when a professional reaches their professional goals and swaps stories of triumph and tragedy, and provide guidance to others who are trying to succeed in their professional careers. The negative experiences are necessary, because they help you carve out your niche, learn your strengths and weaknesses, and ultimately become the professional success you are meant to be.

You Aren't As "Anonymous" As You Think, So Manage Your Online Identity Carefully

A new trend in media is reporting stories on how people get fired because of their online persona. Specifically, foolish young (or old?) employees announce loudly on twitter or facebook that they hate their bosses, co-workers, or jobs in general. And internet-savvy bosses respond by showing them the door.

But there are more things to be afraid of when you are active online aside from the astute employer. One of which is watching the negative feedback you give, or information you post, and realizing that you aren't as anonymous as you think.

Last week, a former model sued to obtain the information on a blogger who put out very negative and defamatory information about her online. The former model won. Several news sources produced up in arms pieces about the first amendment and how revealing the identity of a vitriol blogger threatens our fundamental rights. While I believe that there is nothing protecting anonymity in the first amendment, and furthermore if you are man/woman enough to say it, you should be man/woman enough to own up to it, this case should put a chill on anonymous hateful speech. Furthermore, this debate has been going on for much longer, and this outcome, in a day and age where employers google potential employees, was inevitable.

When I was 17 I began using internet forums to find out information, and I still do today. For example, I use Yahoo questions for research (to get a general consensus) or other similar sites. When I was accepted into law school, I was directed by someone I knew who was a law student to visit a forum dedicated to law students that is currently involved in a law suit after two students were attacked on the forum by name. I know of several other students who were also treated very cruelly on this forum. The two students who were named in numerous threads on this forum fought back, filing a law suit, and the identity of at least one of the individuals behind the most malicious comments was to be disclosed to the students.

I read the developing case with interest, especially when the it became apparent that the individuals who had used anonymity to attack these female law students would face some exposure. It became apparent that at least one of the individuals was living a dual life; his or her online identity was completely inconsistent with his or her real-life persona. The individual begged the judge not to reveal his/her identity on the grounds that it would literally ruin this person's life. They spoke of their family (as in mom and dad), and career aspirations. It was an odd juxtapose to the damage that this individuals comments had done to the two women suing to repair their image.

What it all comes down to is this: an individual needs to be as concerned about what he or she says online anonymously as he or she is about what is said openly. While an errant facebook comment may cost you an entry level position, vitriol posted anonymously about an innocent individual could cost you your career and forever limit your potential. Because comments posted anonymously are becoming part of one's online identity, such un-masked comments are part of a growing trend of online infamy.

Work and Religion

For full disclosure, I am a Sabbath keeping Christian. I am very passionate about my religion.

A few days ago, I watched the documentary Jesus Camp. I was worried that it would be critical of religion, and make Christians seem like, well, freaks. But it was a surprisingly interesting take on the situation of politically active Christianity. It showed the church's efforts to train the next generation of members, an attempt to ensure the survival of their brand of Christianity. One of the most difficult things to do for a religion is to ensure that they retain the younger members of their faith. A particularly compelling moment in the movie was when a young girl walked up to a young lady at a bowling alley and told her about Jesus. I was surprised by her courage. And it made me question what I am doing as a Christian to spread what I believe. And what a delicate line there exists on matters of religion at work.

I first thought about the careful lines between work and personal belief during the election. Most of the lawyers hid their political leanings as if they were deep dark secrets. This is true even more for the religious persuasions of the people I work with. I find out about them from people who know them outside of the office. And sometime the revelations are shocking: I could not understand, for example, how a particular coworker was Catholic and their behavior is, well, inconsistent with their religion.

Furthermore, as a Christian I feel the need to share my beliefs. It was easy to do when, as a criminal defense attorney I was asked by inmates to pray with them, or asked how I could be so kind in such a difficult situation. However, things are different in the corporate world. The situation is even trickier if one wants to share their religion. I would not recommend sharing one's religion directly; it can create a hostile work environment for people who do not believe the same things. However, there are subtler ways to share one's beliefs, a way that improves the workplace.

As a Christian, I believe in a few things. One of which is that I am required and mandated to be a kind person. Some people hold the belief that being kind at work is one way to ensure that people will walk over you. But being kind is not being a pushover. Being kind is a different animal entirely. Being kind means you bite your tongue when a cruel word could be spoken (i.e. a critical and unnecessary barb at a difficult coworker). I am also required to turn the other cheek, and to ignore an insult as if it never happened. I had a meeting once where I realized I could have said a lot of true things in defense of an accusation made against me that was, well, unfounded. I did defend my position. But instead of saying what I wanted to say (which was that the person was completely delusional and incompetent), I took the rather rudely given criticism in stride, provided my explanation, and looked for positive ways to integrate the information I was given and make it constructive criticism.

A final mandate that I find particularly important as a Christian in the work place is to be a forgiving person. This isn't an easy thing to be, but it does make you a much better coworker. Not remembering every fault or misdeed done to you is a real asset, especially in an industry that is small, and the power dynamics between people change continually. In the legal industry, a subordinate today might be a desired client tomorrow, or a government attorney in a position to make or break a client's attempts at avoiding a federal investigation. Forgiveness is a very useful trait, that protects relationships and allows someone to be the bigger person in a very meaningful way.

In the Bible, there is a sermon given by Jesus with the mantras that every Christian is encouraged to live by. These are: humility, compassion, mercy, good intentions, and peacefulness. These mantras are very useful in the workplace, make an employee a much more like-able person, and are an easy way to be a good Christian without preaching a sermon. Whatever your personal religious persuasion (or lack thereof), it is important to develop your mantra that shows your faith (or world-view), and use it to make you a better employee, and to make your workplace a better workplace.

What Makes a Job Not So Bad...

Having an enjoyable job (or, if you are like me, a job that isn't so bad) is not just about what you do. After working in different corporate settings, and being as free spirited as I am, I realize that as long as I work with my mind and not my hands, I will define what I do as moving paper (as one person told me, in the "corporate" world, we move paper from one side of our desks to the other).

The secret to enjoying your job is enjoying the personal dynamics that you create. Having friends at work isn't the only thing that matters. Liking the people you work with, or at the very least respecting them and seeing them as competent, is just as important.

A few years ago, a job hunting website ran a commercial to advertise their services. The premise involved a person was working for a room full of monkeys. At the time I thought: how could it ever be that bad. And then I worked for a job where it seemed that everyone was literally flying by the seat of their pants, with no direction, and looking for someone else to blame. It really was like working in a room full of monkeys. I walked away from the situation afraid to work in my current industry, and afraid of working with people who wore suits in general.

Thankfully, that experience hasn't happened again. And currently, after learning when I was a teenager that "work" was just not going to ever be something I enjoy, I have made creating a positive relationship with the people I work with my goal. I am doing the typical things: seeking to create mentoring relationships that meet different goals, like finding someone to provide career advice, provide advice about balancing career and life, and provide advice about the networking aspect of my career. I think I am getting there. But the most important people I have found in the working world are not the people you would generally think would make or break your career, like a supervisor. The people who make work most bearable for me (and this is a lot coming from someone who feels her calling is to be a socialite) are the people who pass me in the hallways. This includes people who are have more experience than me and supervise me in projects. This includes people who work with the same people, and provide advice on how to deal with situations. This includes people who, when I see them, brighten my day. And this includes people I pass in the hallway who take a genuine interest in the lives of others, as I do too, to create a congenial atmosphere.

Have no illusions; no job is perfect no matter who you work for and work with, and I would never say otherwise. However, I have come to believe that the best metric of a good job is not what you actually do. Which is why I believe that you must give a situation time. The true metric is the relationships and competency you see around you, and I can say from experience that it makes a world of difference even within the same industry.

The Career/Family Dilemma

As a single young woman, I feel that my career options are pretty limitless. I am willing to move wherever I need to for my employment. I enjoy moving, and the freedom that comes from being young, single, and free. And I believe that my extreme flexibility helps my career prospects.

However, living the midwest, I am feeling more and more like an anomaly. And I am worrying, looking at the women who are successful around me, that having a family, and having a career, are almost inconsistent.

Furthermore, as I look around, my friends are getting married and starting families. I must admit that I have a small amount of fear, that I will die alone, and unhappy. But I have a greater fear, that I will settle and not meet my full potential.

About a year ago, I had a medical scare. For a moment, I really thought that I would be unable to have children. I had a moment of crisis, because I realized that perhaps the decision to be a mother, and to have my own children, had been taken from me. The "scare" made me really think about the choices I am making, and where I want to be in regards to my personal life. I realized that I have no direction, or motivation, for anything beyond my professional life and my current family and friends. I don't know if this is a good thing. I don't know if, twenty years down the line, I will regret this.

Dating and Networking are Basically the Same Thing

I desperately want to blog about dating. About how dating is like networking, which is essential for any job, and networking makes you better at dating. About my personal experiences. Because you are better at small talk. And making people feel important. And asking the right questions. 

But, I also am afraid to say too much about people that I care about deeply but had not-so-great dating relationships with, to use as my real life examples (as I do with other topics) to illustrate a point. For some reason, people take their faults as daters very seriously. I think that I am immune to this but then again no one is blogging about dating me (that I know of). 

There are so many parallels to dating and networking, it is impossible to become better at one without being better at the other. And it is equally as impossible to become better at both without practice. 

In law school, I discovered that I have social anxiety. I didn't realize it before then, and I have no idea why because I have been doing social things since I was in first grade spelling bee. But I also noticed that dating became infinitely harder. Perhaps it is because there is so much more at stake.  Perhaps I developed some strange mental condition at the age of 21. Or perhaps, I am just human and some things are hard. 

Either way, I am working on it. And I would advise anyone who has bad luck dating to use networking tips, and vis-a-versa. Because the rules, oddly enough, are the same.

I would provide an example, but, of course, I am deathly afraid of offending the people I genuinely care about and love by telling an embarrassing or even just truthful dating story. 

The Work-Life Balance Lie

There is a conspiracy going on. They lied to us; they told us that everyone was trying to balance everything, and that these attempts at balance mean people want less pay for less work. But no one is working less. In fact, all the tools given us to create balance make us work more. A blackberry means that you are on call 24/7. And they expect you to be on call 365 days a year, even though we want a life, and are told to expect one. We are supposed to be happy sipping lattes working. As if a clear division between work and life isn't something to aspire to, isn't something to want. As if working can be fun. 

With inflation, todays generation makes less than our parents did at our age.  The touted reason is that young people today aren't as interested in making money. That isn't true; we just aren't paid as much.  We do just as much work, if not more. 

There is a second trend. Evidently, the average American family also sends a thousand dollars to the wealthiest 10% of the world each year. So while the bottom 90% of the world is getting poorer, the top 10% is getting richer. It stands to reason that something is wrong with this situation.  And it isn't the result of a greater desire for work life balance. 

So while companies continue to cut jobs because of demand, or because they can, and wages remain stagnant, and we keep sending thousands of dollars from the poor to the rich. And we will keep doing so until something changes about our great system of capitalization and at-will employment.  

A Little Off Topic But...

This is unrelated to my typical "advice", but this is something near and dear to my heart: the great responsibility that Christians have to be responsible with what they preach. 

It was very sad when the media reported that the Pope took a stand, against condoms, in Angola.  If you don't know, many of the Western and Southern countries on the African continent have been ravaged by HIV and AIDS.  One way to control the spread of AIDS is the use of condoms, which are especially helpful for women, who are even more susceptible to contracting AIDS during intercourse. 

As a conservative Christian, I agree with a message of abstinence. It is something I practice in my personal life. But I feel that, as a Christian, I have a duty to the health and safety of others that steps beyond what I believe. For example, I am a vegetarian. I do not believe in eating meat, for health reasons.  I also believe that the original diet, as described in Genesis 2 with the creation of man, did not include meat.  But I would never seek to institute a rule against meat eating, because I understand that most people do not believe the way that I do.  And for many, it would be counter productive. However, not nearly as counterproductive as what was said by the Pope regarding condoms. In a nation where people claim that having sex with virgins will cure you, this is a dangerous message. 

The Knowledge Grid (or the need for growing self-awareness)

Want to know why people can seem to respond to you strangely? Why only certain people date you? What an continual area of improvement should be. 

When I was in college, in my  communications class my first year of college we discussed a knowledge grid.  This grid explains four distinct ways that people know themselves and the world around them. There are four distinct areas of personal knowledge: the things you know about yourself that others know, the things only you know about yourself, the things only others know about you, and the things no one knows.

Perhaps the most important area of knowledge are the things that others know about you.  This is an area you should always be learning about because it impacts you in many ways. This kind of knowledge can give you a heads up at an interview, or make it easier for you to make friends. 

Self-awareness is important because you realize your strengths and weaknesses, and learn to compensate for or capitalize on them. 

So how do you use this knowledge grid to your advantage? How do you find out things about yourself that you don't already know but that other people do? Having friends, real friends, is how one learns those important lessons in self-discovery beyond those supplied by his or her family. 

Will My Generation Succeed when Failure Is an Encouraged Option? (Or Why, While I am employed, I will never move back home)

I moved out of my parent's home when I went to college. Moving back was never an option. Maybe because I greatly value my independence. And mostly because moving back would signal failure. Failure to be an independent adult; to capitalize on the opportunity that my parents gave me. To grow up and be a woman. To exist beyond my mother's apron strings and my father's advice. To be a personal and professional success.

My parents never told me I couldn't come back home. No one ever told me that moving back home means that I have failed. But because I see myself as an adult, and not a child or any longer my parent's responsibility, I can't imagine it being any more of a better idea to move in with my parents as with anyone else. I couldn't expect anyone else to deter me from my journey to self-sufficiency; why would I put this on my parents? Haven't they done enough?

Everyone says go home and figure things out. Everyone says going home saves you money. But I truly feel people who are saying this are being selfish. Perhaps the biggest problem with my generation is selfishness. That we only look at things from our own perspective; that we are foolish enough to believe that because someone cares about us, their perspective does not matter. Moving back home might save you money, but it costs your parents. It prevents them from downsizing. It slows their march to retirement. It prevents them from moving on with their lives. Furthermore, it is a cost that they have probably not planned on absorbing, after all the money they spent helping you become a productive adult by investing in education and other essentials.

Perhaps our parents should be as cruel to us as former generations, purchasing luggage as presents for 18 year olds, letting us know that they do not expect us to intrude on their lives after we are grown, beyond the time they expected to be responsible for another human being.

The Ordinary Dream: Being a Writer

Probably half the people I know want to be writers. It doesn't help that I want to be a writer too; I am sure this skews my perception of just who really wants to be a writer. But nonetheless, being a writer is a terribly common goal. 

And, it doesn't help that it is actually a very difficult thing to do. I can't tell you the number of times I have started writing my great American novel. Or the number of times people have told me about their "nearly finished" (conceptually or otherwise) great American novel. 

There was a time in my life where this was all I thought of. I dreamed about the characters in my book. I imagined my life as a successful writer with the perfect balance of solitary, discipline, and happiness. 

However, I have since come to grips with the fact that I am just not the great American novel writing type, at least not now. Perhaps not ever. I have accepted the limitations of my situation, and my writing ability. I have accepted my humanity. 

Listening to NPR interview two writers, women of color from different countries, it made me feel just a pang of jealousy to hear their struggles with discipline, and then the description of the wonderful feeling of success at a novel's completion. I want to feel like that! But another section of the interview made me take note: the NPR broadcaster asked if the women could see themselves in another profession. The first writer said she was virtually unemployable in any other field. Being a good writer, or perhaps a truly good anything, means being so dedicated to your craft, so specialized in your abilities, that you are fit for pretty much one vocation. As a girl who likes choices, I understand why I could not take the financially indefensible plunge of becoming a writer. I am suited for other professions, and I want to be. But hopefully, one day, I will be so in love and fulfilled by what I do, that I can't imagine myself doing anything else, and I will take that virtually indefensible stance of making myself very good in the field I love. 

Planning for the Future in a Recession

Right now, things are scary. If you listen to the news, the sky is falling.  The fear is paralyzing. The environment is frightening. 

But career planning continues to be a priority.  There is a short term and a long term perspective for events in life. It is easy to lose sight of this in the rash that is media induced panic.  But your career will continue through a recession or a financial boon.  So you must learn to plan through them, and avoid letting financial projections interfere with life goals. 

If you plan on moving...

It might be best to postpone the plan, or to be more creative. However, it can and probably will still happen.  A friend who was moving last year had to postpone her plans for six months. However, a month ago she made her big move. 

Creativity may also be just what you need to make the move.  In a boom economy, jobs are plentiful and in some industries, companies were practically paying employees to take their positions. In a bust economy, a young employee must come up with a more creative way to attract employers.  While unemployment rates are up, they are only up in certain areas, and in some markets unemployment rates are down. Furthermore, unemployment rates hold steady for young employees.  If you want that dream job in a new market, develop a good story to get it, and get busy dusting off the resume to fit your new ideas. 

If you want a better job...

Just because the economy is bad doesn't mean you have to settle permanently, or even put up with a working situation that makes you dream arriving to work every day. Because companies are downsizing, this is a great time to try new things to make your resume more attractive.  Volunteering to do things you are interested in, that will get you ready for your dream job, are a good way to make yourself ready for this new, better job. 

If you want to change careers...

Think about the industry you are trying to get into. Right now, we are on the cusp of a major change in the way that industry occurs here in the US. It has been a long time coming, but a major shift into a knowledge and skills based economy has occurred.  It is like the prior transition from an agrarian economy to a manufacturing economy. If you desire to make a career change is into a sector that is dying off, this is probably a bad move. 

However, if you have done your research, and found an industry that you feel will increase your job satisfaction, it is time to make the move. Remember to do your research to be sure that the change really will increase your job satisfaction (rumors about an industry do not necessarily translate into hard cold facts). 

There are always two ways of viewing the world: a short-term view and a long-term view.  Don't let the current recession force you from your long-term view of your career, and keep you from reaching your career nirvana. 

Life Trends: Dress Up to Get Noticed In a Good Way

Generally spending is down for everything, even high end goods.  It is no surprise; people were spending more than they made, and finally credit has run dry.  

However, there is one area where spending is slightly up: professionals are dressing better.  It would seem counterintuitive as many young professionals live in fear of the possible layoff.  Yet another trend is emerging; the power suit is making a comeback.

It makes sense however. If you dress better, you get noticed. Who doesn't notice the best dressed woman or man in the room. If you stand out, in a good way, perhaps you can make yourself less likely to get the axe.  Also, wearing power suit makes a young worker look more professional, which goes against a general gripe that older workers have against younger workers.  

Relationships and Work: Always a Bad Combination?

Recently I had a talk with a friend who is dating a former co-worker.  She always liked the guy, but she didn't make a move until after she left the job. She said she thought it would just be weird.  It turns out he felt the same way.  But now they have to balance both being busy professionals and trying to date someone who lives and works quite a distance from the other.  

Personally, the jury is still out for me as to whether one should date where they work.  I say this because, beginning in highschool, I developed  a strict policy of only dating one person per place.  Fortunately I went to four different high schools, so this allowed me to date four different guys. But I always felt that the "after" was so weird, the last thing I needed was to start another relationship in front of the face of the guy I was just dating.  And for me, what do you do when you are the "ex" but you see the person on a regular basis, more than the "new" girlfriend? This happened with a boyfriend on the track team. I didn't even like him very much, but when he began dating someone new, it was a very awkward situation. 

But maybe adults are mature enough to get over the "feelings."  Or maybe not.  I have noticed that some companies have anti-dating policies.  And there is always risks with individuals dating where one person has influence over the other, whether male or female.  And doesn't one person always have more power than the other in a relationship?

In law school, a professor of mine who I absolutely love suggested in class that a truly loving relationship could develop with a severe imbalance of power (the context was American slavery).  This caused a proverbial fire storm of responses from the female students.  I wonder if, especially in these economic times, the amorous attentions of a supervisor could be perceived like that, the difference between the Macy's line and the bread line.  Is it true that maybe, if a young pretty assistant could easily find a job, office romance would be more real? 

How NOT To Solve Diversity Problems

Every professional job I have ever worked at had a "diversity" initiative.  There was a Black student forum in college.  There was a Black student group in law school.  Of course, just having all the Black students come together didn't solve any of the diversity issues in college.  When I left, there were still no Black employees in the administrative building in positions of responsibility.  Of course, they couldn't find any.  And no matter how often the Black student group met, nothing changed. 

In law school, I don't think that students really even tried to pretend our group had power.  It was a social group; students used it to find friends who looked like them and talked like them; to expand the diversity of their own inner circle. I strongly feel that this is the only thing affinity groups are really good for; they allow you to form relationships with other individuals who share your "other" status.  

In the working world, I feel that groups that target individuals for their "otherness" are an even more disturbing affair.  First, because they can be seen as exclusionary.  And secondly, because people pretend that they make a difference, as if having all the powerless people in a room at one time will somehow make them feel better.  

Individual affinity groups can also cause division in otherwise perfectly cordial settings.  A rowdy discussion of how maybe one person wasn't really Black because they were from a different country, despite that country's shared legacy of slavery, caused a rift in the student group that alienated "traditional" Black students from non-American students, who were equally as Black, but then again, sometimes you can't be sure.  As if there is some metric to Blackness. 

I think that the biggest failing of groups is that they do not do what people pretend they will.  Affinity groups, as they are commonly called, do not empower anyone. If anything, they alienate students, and employees, because they serve as a further reminder of their otherness. 

And, in the work setting, they make it seem like it is the employees fault that they are different.  After going to an event at a former employer, where a supervisor announced that he was doing his part for diversity when he just talked to Black employees, I was dumb struck.  Really? You stoop so low as to talk to little old me? Wow, you must really like Black people!

Image Management Lessons from Celebrities

Today, the BBC is running yet another "Prince Harry is a racist" story.  I personally know nothing about how Prince Harry, a far off member of royalty who has nothing to do with me, feels about people who are a different ethnicity that he is.  But I do know that he is doing a very poor job of managing his image.  And for someone who can afford, and perhaps even be given, professional help to do this, he is a good example of poor image management. 

The media is full of the good and bad, and confusing, of image management.  Because in Hollywood even bad news is better than no news at all, getting a DUI before a movie premier, or after landing a starring role on a hit tv show, is part of image management.  I do think that some of the Brittney Spears meltdown was for show.  I wonder if Amy Winehouse, without the typical hollywood blonde bombshell looks, is fighting to stay relevant with just talent, and so she continually acts out.  Is the tortured genius act real for anyone? 

Real or imagined, the mistakes of the famous are a great way to learn about image management.  Lessons of how stars manage a scandal, which is perhaps the biggest part of image management because everyone messes up, is relevant for the non-famous.  The general rules of scandal, even if it is just blowing a small project in the office, or missing an conference call, for us normal folk, apply:

1.  After a scandal, own up to your mistake.  Celebrities are famous for their canned apologies, and while I know nothing of the sincerity, I do know that they admit their mistakes, even when intentional.  This alone helps them return to good graces, and it diffuses the situation, because upon admitting a wrong, speculation stops, and the story, in effect, stops.  So if you have messed up on a project, or missed an important deadline, don't wait for the story to escalate. Go and apologize. 

2. After a scandal, be mindful of crafting your image as the opposite of your mistake.  When an actor gets a DUI, they are usually seen shortly thereafter reading to children, or heavily involved in a charity. This is important to a star because it forces them to be seen in a different light.  This lesson is important to the average worker, because if after missing a deadline, you finish multiple projects in record time, it will be obvious that you have learned from your mistake.  And that is a way to turn a negative into a positive.  And, eventually, you will be known for your efficiency, and the mistake will be long forgotten (for the most part...).

3. After a scandal, don't mess up by doing the same thing again.  This is how I know that Prince Harry either doesn't have an image consultant, or doesn't listen to him or her.  After doing one boneheaded move, he followed it up with another equally boneheaded one of the same kind.  One sure fire way to lose your job is to have the same problem over and over again.  All apologies will ring hallow.  All attempts to make amends will be useless.  This could reveal that you are in the wrong job.  But it can also mean that you have been approaching the problem the wrong way.  Perhaps the situation reveals that there is a potential for true personal or professional growth.  And perhaps, it's time to reach out for help. 

4. After a scandal, don't forget.  No matter what you do to make amends, and no matter how detail oriented and perfect you are after making a mistake, the mistake has been made. Paraphrasing a proverb: people remember mistakes much longer than successes.  For stars, the media has a long memory, and things a famous person did years ago come back to haunt him or her.  Just look at media coverage.  I don't know why, but it is part of the human psyche.  A mistake will color your perception.  To truly make it go away, don't forget it yourself, and be careful to remove it from the equation.  The initial step is to apologize. The secondary step is to not repeat. But the final step is to never act as if it didn't happen. 

This is incredibly difficult to do, and is why image consultants are so valuable to famous people.  But us non famous people can manage to do this on our own, because the memory of our successes and failures is much shorter.  The biggest part of the equation is being aware of how one is perceived by others, and making choices that ensure that the perception of our co-workers,  supervisors, and anyone else who matters, is as close to the reality of our potential as possible.