However, living the midwest, I am feeling more and more like an anomaly. And I am worrying, looking at the women who are successful around me, that having a family, and having a career, are almost inconsistent.
Furthermore, as I look around, my friends are getting married and starting families. I must admit that I have a small amount of fear, that I will die alone, and unhappy. But I have a greater fear, that I will settle and not meet my full potential.
About a year ago, I had a medical scare. For a moment, I really thought that I would be unable to have children. I had a moment of crisis, because I realized that perhaps the decision to be a mother, and to have my own children, had been taken from me. The "scare" made me really think about the choices I am making, and where I want to be in regards to my personal life. I realized that I have no direction, or motivation, for anything beyond my professional life and my current family and friends. I don't know if this is a good thing. I don't know if, twenty years down the line, I will regret this.
