Secret Confessions of a Working Woman

I have a secret. I don't remember the last time I cleaned my house. I am a single woman with no dependents; I should have a house like a show piece by ordinary convention. But I am also a single woman who works continually, and I try to have a personal life. What that adds up to is me wondering how on earth I would ever function with anyone else in my life for more than a weekend at a time.

Honestly, I believe it is all about priorities. And right now, my number one priority is my job. I want to be really good at it. I think about it all the time. I plan for it. I take on assignments I have no interest in and pretend to be intrigued so that people will want to give me the good work. I pretend that I have nothing better to do than work, so if at 7:45PM someone suggests I make changes to a document I say I can, with a smile, and at 7:45AM I get a message, the next morning no doubt, I break a leg to arrive at someone's office with a smile. No wonder the dishes don't get done every day.

One of my favorite bloggers said she hired a house-manager. Last year, one of my friends hired a maid. I was a little suprised as she was a single gal like me, but when I mentioned it I found out that at least three other ladies I know have one. I am seriously considering it.

The problem is, I feel guilty. I am a woman who comes from a long line of amazing homemakers, and I grew up with a mother who was like super woman, and would iron my school clothes in the morning before herself going off to tend to sick people at a hospital at 6:30AM. And somehow, when I got home after cheerleading/track/basketball practice there was food, homemade food. And I guess, deep down inside I think that no one will want to marry me if I can't do all these things. It seems every guy I know and date has a super mom; I can't even imagine myself doing all these things.

I really don't think you can have it all, including a clean house and a super demanding job, not if you are the one cleaning it. Right now in my life, my career is of upmost importance. I let everything else play second fiddle.  And when I drag myself home at 9PM at night after being at work since 8AM that day, I go home to my less than pristine house.  Ultimately, this is a balance I can live with.