Why Diversity is so Much Harder than You Think!

Diversity is much more difficult than people think because it's not all about whether or not you "like" one particular "race" or another. It's not about whether generalities are real, or whether one group is more disadvantaged than another. It is really about personal preference and comfort level, and how these reinforce the current power structure and lock individuals outside. It's about how people prefer people who look like them, and reserve what is good and best for those individuals. And as those who hold the power generally look very different from me, and are a different gender, this is very disconcerting.  It is about how minorities are uncomfortable being in the minority, because from an early age everything around them tells them they are different, and whatever culture they identify with must seek to insulate them from the popular culture. Diversity is really hard because of how we are raised. Take where you live: 

Currently, in the United States, cities are being revitalized. And cities are changing, from bastions of "diversity" as cities once majority one race or another are finding it harder and harder to hold on to their diversity. I don't think that they were ever really diverse to begin with. I think that people prefer people who look like them, mostly because of what you are told, and mostly because of what you are used to.

When I was in the 10th grade, someone took my books and my calculator. I wasn't sure who did it. I told a relative that I was worried about the situation, because I knew my mother would not buy me another calculator. I was going to "confront" the girl who did it.  It turns out my mother just bought me a second calculator, but what my relative told me as a cautionary approach to the situation has never left my mind: be careful, "they" will gang up on you if you say one of "them" did it. 

In 10th grade, I went to a school where I was very much in the minority. It was a Christian school. Aside from absolutely hating it, and almost all of the teachers who I felt were out to get me, being the young, headstrong, and independent girl that I was, this situation was made more problematic because none of my teachers were minorities like me, and this was a first.  I grew up in a Black working class neighborhood in Ohio. I went to a Black church. And these people were different to me because they looked different. I can only imagine how they viewed me; I dressed differently, talked differently, and looked nothing like them.  I had long dark brown hair at the time, and was a skinny ball of rebellion. I had just moved back to Ohio after a short stay in Georgia. This is after I was sent to a boarding school for rebellious teens, and then ran away.  At this school, I remember someone touching my hair and remarking that it was soft. I felt very uncomfortable; why was his hand in my head? My mother told me if someone did that again, to make them regret it. When a girl tried sometime later, I told her she might lose her hand. 

Some people who hear my stories have asked me if I think that my family is racist. Someone said that when they heard a story I wrote in college. I just think that my family is honest. The first thing people notice about me is that I am Black.  People perceive me to be different. My mother's comments were her way of trying to protect me from the cruel harsh world. While I know I am no different than any other homo sapiens on the inside, and I know about the experiences and the human truth we share, some people honestly think that they have nothing in common with the human being next to them if they have a different amount of melanin in their skin. And even if you do; what does it mean?  

I am comfortable almost anywhere, and this is a gift from my father. But I must say that, when I have a choice, I chose people who I perceive to be like me. It doesn't fall along race lines though or because of gender. And I like people who smile a lot. My family is diverse; I can't pick and chose like that without leaving someone I love outside the circle.  But I do think twice, in new environments where I am different. And I can't help but wonder what other people think.  My professor in law school said that minorities are drafted; we are forced to be representatives for our "race". Whatever that means, though mostly I think that if I mess up, I will be remembered as the "Black" girl who messed up, no matter how many people mess up before or after me.