Don't Let "You" Get In The Way Of Your Success

In the book "How to Make People Like You" a central theme is evident: people are alike. Fundamentally, for both needs and desires. That is why techniques that really work, work on everyone.  And this leads to a universal but rarely embraced truth: you really aren't special. I am not special. You and I are like everyone else. Sure, we have particular stories and particular successes and failures, but the general theme of our lives are not that different from the man across the street. 

It might be hard to understand, but as soon as you do, this will be very helpful in your day to day relationships. That is, if you will let it. Understanding that your desires coincide with those of your neighbor, and that you really can present this as a way to get ahead, is important. The question then becomes, how will you use it. 

There are a lot of really annoying lawyers. Lawyers who do things that are down right despicable. Lawyers who scheme and scam to get ahead. Lawyers who are just down right annoying. But there is an annoying scheming scammer in all of us. We really are no different.  We just make different choices.  And what is life, really, but the sum of your choices?

If you, however, remain convinced that you are special, that you are unique, and that your needs are somehow truly peculiar, in a good way, you are only setting yourself up for failure. Because you will present yourself as someone apart, and really, people don't like that.  

Like-able people are more successful. Not just because they are like-able, but because they think about others and it makes them more like-able. People do things for people they like.  People who feel they are special are probably thinking all about themselves.  People who accept their shared humanity can put their selfishness to bed, and work objectively on meeting their success objectives.

A quick exercise in being more like-able: rather than think about yourself in a situation, find out about other people. Observe the things in your boss's office, and ask questions. Google things you may or may not understand, so that you can speak from a position of knowledge.  Ask for their feedback, and really listen and engage in what they are saying. Treat them how you would like to be treated, as if they are important. It will make you more like-able, and more important, in their eyes. And, this will ultimately make you more successful at what you do. Because people will want to do things for you.