But my views have changed. For several reasons. One is that I see raising kids alone is hard. The biggest, though, by far is the power of the two income household. Because you can always hire help for your kids. And I want to be 50 and beautiful, and the normal people I have seen who are 50 and beautiful with children are married and work full time jobs.
I was at a going away party for a guy who works where my boyfriend does. The party was at another co-worker's house, which was absolutely beautiful, and situated on a picturesque lake. Inside the husband and wife had this really cool map of all the places they had been. It was littered with little pushpins, in exotic locations all over the world. The co-worker hosting the party was a woman who had just had a baby, and she looked fabulous. She, and a male co-worker, were discussing the power of the two income household, and evidently that is what allowed this couple their beautiful surroundings and opportunities. I realized, I want to be like that. She is a working mother, striking a happy balance for her between work and life. He works as well. And they achieved stuff. And while he wasn't at the party, I felt like I met him, because she mentioned him so often. She obviously really liked him. I want to really like my husband, and support him as he supports me in my career endeavors. So evidently there is something to this marriage/two income household idea.
And a final, vanity note: working women seem to be fitter and better looking, at least the ones I meet. I know that this isn't a universal, and I know that there are a lot of other factors involved, but I do know that lawyers at my law firm are much more fit than the general population, and I would bet that this holds true in most large cities in the corporate setting. I want to be a size six when I am 50. And I am a size six right now, and holding steady. In law school I went to a panel of women who were all alums and had carved out paths to success as women. It was insightful in many ways (they averaged 7 different jobs before they found the right "fit") but the most amazing thing was how beautiful they all were. They all had children (between 1 and four kids) and yet they were all fit and healthy looking, with fabulous-ness radiating from their beings. Maybe the fountain of youth is working a corporate job and having to look beautiful (I HAVE to exercise; I am my product) to survive. And this would only be possible for me, someone who wants two to three kids, if I marry a supportive spouse. Very round about thinking, but a huge step for a girl who was going to be single forever!
2 comments:
There's a danger of giving too much credit to these superficial traits. Beauty is just as often a complete facade for the turmoil within. Look at celebrities -- they're our royality in America. A fair portion of those beautiful people are disasters.
Have you talked to these beautiful people about how perfect they think they are? My guess is that a lot of them would tell you otherwise. Externalities are a lot easy to control than the factors hidden away from view.
You aren't understanding where I am coming from. And by beautiful, I mean fit, healthy, and happy. I know many of these beautiful women on a personal level, and I know their children and husbands. I am a professional, and I do not plan on being anything else, and so they are my role models. And no they are not perfect, or beautiful in the conventional sense. But they created a life model that I want to follow, that includes the two income household.
I harbor no illusions about beauty and perfection, and I would not encourage anyone else to. But in this day and age, when so much of the population is eating themselves to death, I think that a balance that maintains one's physical health, and mental well-being, while doing the thing that one loves to do, and is trained to do, is beautiful.
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