Searching for a Sense of Community

Since moving away from home when I was 17, I have been trying to build a psuedo-family wherever I have been. I invest great effort in it at work, and outside of work I endeavor to make my ties to people in the community a little closer. It is hard though. For one, I live in a city that was, when I moved here, the murder capital of the country. So people don't feel very safe in general, and that creates barriers to really getting to know them. Secondly, I try to maintain my networks of friends who are further away, and my boyfriend is long-distance, so that means I am out of town a lot. It is difficult to create community and get to know people when you are never there. And finally, I work a lot. Even when I am not at work, I am often working. I don't know how to get around these issues.

Growing up, I lived in a neighborhood of working familes. I had friends in different areas within a three or four block radius. Some days, all of us would drive our bikes around the neighborhood, enjoying the scenery and deciding if we had enough money for chips and soda. I remember riding my little rainbow bike, the wind in my pigtails, enjoying my connection to the riders around me, and enjoying the sense of security I felt. I miss the community that school and neighborhood created. I am trying to remake that in my adult life. I think that this desire for lost community is what is behind the popularity with shows like Sex in the City and Friends. I also think that the loss of community is highlighted in books like Bowling Alone, or in an op ed I read in the NYTimes about how much more isolated neighbors are now than they were 20 years ago. It's a highlighted article for today, June 23, in case you would like to read it. What is the reason for the loss in community? Safety? I wonder if crime is that much more likely now than in 1970 or even 1980. And is the community from our neighborhoods being replaced by anything? Are we more connected to people now at work, or in different areas of our life?

I wonder about this as I long for the community I experienced in my youth. If there is a secret formula for creating these relationships, be it at work, in our neighborhoods, or at some other location, I haven't found it, but I won't stop looking.